Prudence vs. Independence

Yesterday I found myself in an interesting situation. Since it was a Sunday and I am still on the road, I looked for a church to attend. I looked up an address online, followed the Google directions, and ended up on the right block. Except I didn't go in - I was scared.

No, not scared of going into the church - scared of getting out of my vehicle. I wanted to reach for a side arm, if not an assault rifle. I grew up in a rough area and have been (visited or worked) in much more worse places. Bottom line, I know how to handle myself -- but I didn't feel comfortable going in. The cars around me were speeding stoplight to stoplight; gang members, prostitutes, drug dealers, were all in plain sight. And no -- they weren't making their way to the church.

I still wonder if I shouldn't have gone it -- have I gotten to the point where I am now so suburbanized that I make a distinction along economic lines? Or did I really need to be armed or go in with backup? I don't know. What I do know is that I wouldn't want any child walking alone through that neighborhood.

Yet, when I do have a child of my own, I don't want to be a helicopter parent. You know, the type that always hover nearby (or above) and never let their children have any independence: the helmet wearing, gps tracking, leash holding, decision strangling, growth suffocating, coddling parent.

A week ago, a Newsweek article discussed a mother's decision let her 9 year old son take the NYC Subway alone. Since her column, the mother, Lenore Skenazy, has had to defend herself left and right. Clearly Ms. Skenazy knew the risks, knew her son, and felt it was safe enough.

Now lots of people are Monday morning quarterbacking her decision. Even on a fast connection, downloading the Newsweek page of comments takes forever. Some rain down threats to call child protective services and others shower her with praise. Contentious is hardly the word - Divisive is more like it.

Would I let my (future) son or daughter take public transit in a large city? I don't know. I would like to believe I would. But should that involve going through the neighborhood I went through yesterday, the answer would be emphatically no. Sometimes prudence outweighs independence.